Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Le Shame

So.
Let's get honest. It's March 16th and I... well. I've written a grand total of around 10 pages. FAIL. RL stuff is kicking me in the butt, and life is getting exhausting. I have faith, though. I'm going to hit my stride somewhere in the next week, and maybe even be able to make up for some of the lost time. Or, at any rate, stop losing it. Ugh. I think I'm just getting old. RL never used to be so busy. I used to have the time to sit down and focus.

I am blaming it on the music. I am of the breed of writer who needs music to write. And the playlist I picked out isn't fitting what I'm writing. Or maybe it's because it's spring. A funny thing happens every spring. Stuff wakes up and lilacs come out and all that jazz, and I get new ideas. Lots and lots and lots of shiny, new, distracting ideas. It's very inconvenient. Also, ten years ago, I didn't have a job. Also, do you know how hard it is to self-publish? Holycrow.

So yeah. The thing is, I'm not off to a good start. I mean, I've started, so there's that. I think - I hope - that I can still make the deadline. Thinking like a businessperson is pretty heavy stuff, not something I'm used to, and I'm hoping now that I have things down a bit (did you know 10 pages on googledocs is actually 20 pages when properly formatted? Yes! Did you know the original Hannah document is 200 pages, and that's without proper formatting? Crap.), I can stop distracting myself and get down to business. I've also noticed some amazing parallels between me at fourteen, and my politics and what I was writing, and what I am writing now, and how that reflects the way I still feel. More on that later.

For now, hanging head in shame, and keeping it down to get some work done.

xfingers for me.

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